It’s Monday. It’s hard to get back into the swing of the work week, so let’s not yet. Here’s our cure for the Mondays: Sophia Petrillo. Let’s warm up our brains with the musings of our favorite Golden Girl.
On Being Old
-“When I turn my hearing-aid up to ten, I can hear a canary break wind in Lauderdale!”
-“I sleep like a log! I never have to get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom. I go in the morning. Every morning, like clockwork, at 7am – I p**. Unfortunately I don’t wake up ’till 8.”
-“I’m an old white woman. I’m not supposed to have color.”
-“I’ve forgotten more than you’ll ever know.”
-[On retirement homes] “Do you know what they do? They set off the fire alarm in a retirement home. Who can rush? Half the people have walkers. The other half can’t get out of their chairs. They got bells going off like crazy. Do you know what that does to hearts that only beat a few times a week? It’s not pretty.”
On Being Cranky
-“There’s just something I don’t like about him. I can’t put my finger on it, but if I did, I’d have to wash it.”
-[On her late husband Sal] “May he rest in peace till I get there.”
-“You didn’t ask me for my opinion, but I’m old, so I’m giving it anyway.”
-“Why do blessings wear disguises? If I were a blessing, I’d run around naked.”
-“There’s nothing to fear but fear itself… And of course the bogeyman.”
Sophia was sometimes wise, mostly witty and always hilarious. Even when you have the Mondays, Sophia is good for a chuckle.